Shrek curtains, posters

Of boy bands, football duvets

In Kidsbedroomland.

Sugar and spice and

All things nice? Clearly, you’ve not

Met Annabelle Price.

Frogs? Snails? Puppy dogs’

Tails? That’s prejudice against

Young males! You’re cancelled.

Girls love pink dresses,

Ballet, horses.….rugby league

And woodwork courses.

Teenagers at home,

Prone on their phones, alone in

Bedroom no go zones.

“This term James studied

With insufficient ardour”

(Jim could try harder)